Doggie Haiku 

 I love my master; thus I perfume myself with this long-rotted squirrel. 

I lie belly-up in the sunshine, happier than you will ever be.

Today I sniffed many dogs tails. I celebrate by kissing your face.

I sound the alarm! Paperboy-come to get us! - Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm! Mailman fiend-come to get us! Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm! Meter reader come to get us! Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and 'wiz' on each bush. Hello, Spot, sniff this and weep.

How do I love thee? The ways are numberless as my hairs on the rug.

My human is home! I am so ecstatic, I have made a puddle.

I hate my choke chain - Look, world, they strangle me! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin on your foot - no greater bliss. Well, maybe catching cats.

Dig under fence - why? Because it's there. Because it's there. Because it's there.

You may call them fleas, but they are far more - I call them a vocation. 

My owners' mood is Romantic. I lie near their feet.  Life is good

I am your best friend, now, always, and especially when you are eating.

Look in my eyes and deny it - no human could love you as much as I do.